Showing Affection

Me and my parents have always had a funny relationship. I was the 3rd child of 4 and always felt that they loved my younger brother Robert more than me and still do. When I was 13 I rebelled and was always in trouble with them. I occasionally bunked off school and stayed out much later than I was supposed to. Robert got away with murder but I was always punished.

My parents have never said I love you to me or given me a hug or been affectionate with me for as long as I can remember. Even now that we live in Cyprus and speak almost everyday on the phone they never ever say they love me. They come and stay with us for a month at a time and will show lots of love and affection to Josh and Ellie and say they love them to them but even then will never ever say it to me. I always get upset about it when I have dropped them at the airport and they give the kids a hug and tell them that they will miss them. My husband will give them a hug and kiss my mum on each cheek but they never come near me.

My dad had a heart attack in September 2005 and I told him that I loved him but he never responded to it.

When me and Vic got together I was 18 and he was 39 and I didn’t tell my parents as I knew what their reaction would be and when they found out it was exactly the reaction I expected from them and I ended up leaving home and moving in with Vic. I could understand their reaction to a point because they were concerned about the 21 year age gap but they went about it all the wrong way. Instead of wanting to get to know Vic they judged him purely on the age gap and thought that he could after me when in fact I was the one who asked him out. I could never talk to my parents about anything and I want our kids to be able to tell me anything and know that I love them no matter what and that I will never judge them and will always support them even if I don’t agree with what they are doing I will love them.

Me and Vic have been together for 10 years now and married for 6 and they have been the happiest years of my life. My parents accepted him after a couple of months and I was so proud when my dad stood up on our wedding day and gave his speech and said that he couldn’t have chosen a better husband for me than what I choose for myself.

In Cyprus it is traditionally that you greet someone with a hug and a kiss on each cheek and I never instigate this. I wait for the other person to hug me and feel false doing it. I don’t know why, perhaps it has to do with my parents not showing me any affection.

I don’t want my kids to grow up feeling unloved like I did. I want them to know how much I love them and I tell them and my husband every single day and mean it. Me and Vic are very cuddly with each other and with the kids and give lots of kisses. It is very important to me that they can show emotion. We love our family hugs and cuddles together.