I have chickened out of unschooling this last 2 weeks as I have been feeling a bit scared about it all. I know I need to learn to trust that my children will learn what they want to learn but I began getting cold feet and my husband was starting to doubt it which caused me to doubt it too.
For the last two weeks we have done a relaxed version of school at home and I know that I don't want to continue this in the long term but I am scared about unschooling. What if my two children are the only ones who won't learn. I am really scared. I think it would be easier if we had the internet at home which we dont yet. Josh brought down a castle modelling set he got for christmas and has done that this afternoon and he wants to do a castle project so I think that I will see how far he wants to take it and not push him into doing more than he wants to. I know I need to chill out over this. It doesn't help that my family in the UK always ask what have they learnt today even though I have told them not to they ask the kids themselves. They both seem to be enjoying maths at the moment and when I asked what they wanted to do this morning they both wanted to do their maths workbooks. I should be really pleased that they want to do their maths workbooks but I am not sure if they are doing it just for me.
I need to start reading more unschooling blogs I think to give me the confidence to get back into unschooling.
any one got any advice?
Our journey into unschooling with our 2 children, Joshua 8 and Ellie 5.
7 comments:
Hi Emma,
I've been unschooling for four years and when I look back, I realise it was a process that had to start with me. I had to deschool myself before I could really understand and trust unschooling. Have you ever read any of the editions of Unschooling Voices? Each month I put together submitted unschooling blog posts and post them on the first of the month. I also wrote a post about deschooling for parents that may help you. Here's the link to my blog. To read Unschooling Voices, click on the link in the right side bar for an index of all the past editions. To read the post about deschooling, look in the left sidebar.
An Unschooling Life
Please let me know if I can be of any help!
Joanne
Just keep reading others' experiences and success stories. Even reading about others' fears will reassure you that they, too, are normal and will pass. It's freaky to jump into the deep end of the pool!
Hi Emma,
We have been experiencing a very similar scenario here at our house in Middleton, WI. I want so badly to trust that my kids (Zola 8ys, Mack 6 and Fisher 4) will be inquisitive, educated and creative kids who can choose college at the end of our homeschooling years. I fear that I am failing them if I don't enforce some sense of structure each day especially when I feel like everyone around us is leading a more structured (trying very hard to not make this mean purposeful) life. There aren't any tests or teachers conferences to confirm or deny my efforts to use curriculum or to unschool. It has been very difficult to connect with other families here in order to at least to ask someone with more than a few years of homeschooling experience, if it is normal to have my kids resist to their math lessons or to just enjoy being with my kids and receive reassurance that because I have just been "being" with them, they will become the inquisitive, educated people I hope for. Whenever I've had a challenging time, my friends (I do not discuss homeschooling w/my family) always seek out alternatives like a montessori program or comment that they don't know how I don't lose my mind. We are in separate worlds.
The things I've noticed that have helped quiet the anxiety provoking thoughts I have:
We've recently begun taking a weekly field trip. This has helped me get out of my head and to just really appreciate my kids and the natural progression of questions and inquisitiveness that happens from the drive to our destination to the drive home.
I have been really working on positive affirmations for myself: I am a good mom.
If you ever feel like chatting, my blog is at http:// web.mac.com/buzzerboo.
Hi,Emma
just stumbled accross your blog tonight as I was browsing.I can relate to your feelings and about a year ago was in your position. It is a process, it doesn't happen overnight,I have found it has been more to do with me and my perceptions and fears and growth has come as I have deschooled.
I have found great advice and answers to alot of my questions on blogs. I have read many and have often read into the archive material to track the journey the families have been on.I have also found the comments left on blogs to be very helpful.Unschooling is a lot to do with trust in your child and I found I needed to have a really good understanding of how unschooling looks to free me up and trust my daughter.Step by step and lots of research helped me to get to where I am today and I am still growing and gaining knowledge.Letting go of the ingrained notion of what education "looks" like is hard but each day it is getting easier.
You will get there, be kind to yourself and give yourself time.
Good luck xx
Thank you for all your kind comments and useful advice.
Joanne, thanks for reminding me about unschooling voices and your article about your own deschooling was really helpful as were you're other deschooling articles. Thank you.
Laura, thanks for your advice. I think for the time being I will stick with reading unschooling blogs as I have tended to read around a lot of homeschooling blogs and perhaps it will be better to just keep it to unschooling blogs til I am deschooled enough.
Jessica, its great to know that I am not alone in having wobbly moments or days. I can't talk to my family about the kids education either as both my parents believe the kids should go to school. My mum even suggested boarding school in England. No Way! My husband is normally very supportive but he has been wobbly this last couple of weeks and that has affected me I think too. I have stuck loads of deschooling tips and advice over our fridge so when I get another attack of the wobbles I can read them to get me back on track.
Lynn, thanks for your comment. I found your blog yesterday via the new unschooler but I didn't get a chance to leave a comment before I had to finish on the internet. I do worry a lot and I need to relax and trust that they will learn what they want to when they need to know it. They have both virtually taught themselves to read so I will try to use that as my belief that they will learn what they want and when they want. Thanks
Emma
x
Hi Emma,
Thought about your blog over the weekend some more and wondered if you have a copy of Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook? I realized as we have been experiencing some "wobbley" (love your term by the way) moments at our home as well, I unconsciously began re-reading her books. She has another book written after the above mentioned and it is a collection of essays written by homeschooled children and their lives. Very uplifting and inspiring.
Hope all is well!
Jessica
Hi Jessica
Thanks for your book recommendation. I haven't read Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook yet but I think I will order it and look at other books by her as it will help me and hopefully help to have something to show my family too to give examples of other homeschooled kids.
I am also hoping to order a copy of deschooling gently when it comes out in March written by Tammy at Just Enough and Nothing More Blog. I've tried to find it on Amazon UK and its not on there so I guess I might have to try somewhere else but it sounds like it will be a great book for us.
Take care
Emma
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