My Unschooling Journey

Thinking of coming back to unschooling

2008-10-26T12:40:00.003+02:00

We ended up going back to more structured homeschooling as I was feeling under pressure from my parents and dh was starting to get a bit rocky and so I felt that we had to return to a structured homeschool.

I am realising that this was a mistake. I feel like I am under far more pressure now doing structured homeschooling than I ever was unschooling.

We will be moving back to England soon where I think it will be really much easier to unschool as we will have access to more resources such as library, zoos, parks etc. I plan on starting now though as we can get back to deschooling in the meantime.

My children have shown me that they do not need me to teach them. I am fortunate that my returning to structure has not quashed their love of learning. They are inquisitive about the world around them I need to quit being the teacher and facilitate their learning when required.

Wish me luck as we jump back on this merry go round.

Deschooling Myself

2008-03-07T12:59:00.002+02:00

I think that the last few weeks I have really made some great progress in deschooling myself. I know that for unschooling to work for us I have to deschool myself as much as possible. The last 3 or 4 weeks have been great in helping me do that and see that the kids can learn so much from just living together.

I think what has helped is that we were on holiday in England for 2 weeks so that helped me to stop thinking that they should be doing something and worrying whether they were learning anything. We just had fun together as a family going to the local park and feeding the ducks and playing funny games together. Then when we got back we were all pretty tired after having our flight diverted to Istanbul so we didn't get much sleep.

My brother in law came back with us and stayed for a week and so we went for days in here in Cyprus taking him places. I was really proud of Ellie as the last time he came to stay she wouldn't talk to him or in front of him. This time there was no shutting her up. She was a little miss chatterbox and I was so proud of her as her selective mutism makes it so difficult for her to speak to people she doesn't really know and she's only met him twice before. I think that unschooling has really helped her with this. She is doing great.

Then this week I've had flu and been pretty much horizontal for much of this week. So I've just spent time watching the kids and observing them playing together and it was so nice. This is how it needs to be all the time. They are learning so much just from some of the little imaginative games they play. I want to treasure them playing together like this for as long as possible as Josh is 9 soon and he might not want to join in games with his sister for much longer.

They have also been helping Vic do the garden. When we got back from England we couldn't believe how much the weeds had grown since we had been away and we both hate gardening. Vic has made a start on clearing it and the kids wanted to help. Josh especially is really good at pulling the weeds up and he says he loves it. Ellie likes looking at the worms that they are unearthing and millipede's and she likes collecting different stones and tapping them to make 'music'.

I feel like these last few weeks we have really come a long way and that I don't need to worry if my kids are learning anything as they are learning all the time and I love watching them discover things for themselves.

I think I have at last let go of the schoolish 'should's and aught's' and am just enjoying watching them grow up happy. My role from now on is to be their facilitator, guide, librarian, whatever they need from me as and when they need it.

Me and Vic were talking last night about how great things are at the moment and how brilliant the kids are. They have grown so much closer since we began unschooling and Josh is very protective of Ellie. Ellie's tooth came out on Sunday night and so the tooth fairy left Ellie 3 euros but also left Josh 3 euros too so they'd have the same and he gave his 3 euros to Ellie as she's his 'best sister'. It was such a lovely thing to do and I was proud of him for doing that. They were so well behaved as well when we were delayed in Istanbul and lots of people came up to us and complemented us on our well behaved children but they are like that all the time now they are so good and we love them to bits and couldn't imagine life without them. I love being able to spend so much quality time with them now and I would miss out on all that if they were in school.

Latest Unschooling Voices out

2008-03-07T12:48:00.002+02:00

Unschooling Voices 13 is out now at
http://pomoyemu.blogspot.com/2008/03/presenting-unschooling-voices-lucky-13.html

Its great go and take a look!

Our nightmare flight to Cyprus via Istanbul

2008-03-01T16:28:00.001+02:00

We were looking forward to getting home after our stay in England. Our British Airways flight departed on time from Manchester at 2.20pm and it all seemed to be a comfortable flight until an hour before we were due to land in Paphos.

You could tell from looking down the aisle that we had suddenly begun to descend quite steeply. I looked at my watch and could see that if we were going to land we were an hour early which would be impossible as it is a minimum of a 4 hour flight from the UK even with extremely good tail winds.

The captain came over the tannoy system and asked for a senior member of the cabin crew to go to the cockpit urgently and I started to panic a bit then. I don’t mind flying once we are up there but I hate take off and landing and the fact that we seemed to be getting ready to land made me worry that we were going to crash. It wasn’t helped by the woman in front of me having a full blown panic attack as the stewardess announced that we had to put on our seatbelts as we would shortly be landing and we all knew that we were no where near Cyprus.

One of the stewardesses was trying to tell the lady in front that we were landing in Cyprus and that the tail winds had helped speed our journey which we knew was not true and whilst she was trying to reassure the lady in front of me it came over the tannoy that the plane was being diverted because of an ‘incapacitated pilot.’

I started to panic a bit more as they then lit the emergency exit signs up over the wing in front of us so I was convinced that we had a mechanical error but they didn’t want to cause panic. It was really hard trying to stay calm as I was sat next to the kids when I felt like panicing and crying. I told Joshua and Ellie to put their things away back in our hand baggage by our feet and tightened their seatbelts.

There was a very tense atmosphere on board and Ellie kept asking if we were going to crash and I was trying to reassure her that everything was ok when inside I felt like crying but couldn’t as I didn’t want to worry the kids.

Vic was brilliant holding my hand and letting me squeeze his hand so tight it was going white as I was really scared. He still has the nail marks I was squeezing his hand so much.

We had a bit of a bumpy landing but were so relieved to be on the ground we all applauded the Captain for landing safely. We didn’t know where we were but were told to wait on the plane for a few minutes as paramedics would be boarding the plane to see to the co-pilot. We were eventually allowed to leave the plane and were put onto buses to be taken into the airport terminal.

It wasn’t until we were in the terminal building we found out we were in Istanbul, Turkey which for going to Cyprus is the worst possible place to land as Cyprus is a divided island after Turkey invaded it and the Greek Cypriots that lived on that side of the island were forced to leave their homes and flee to the other side of the island. As a result you cannot fly from Turkey to Southern Cyprus (Greek side of the island). You can only fly to Ercan in Northern Cyprus (Turkish side) and then you have to get a bus down to Paphos which would be a 3 and a half hour drive at least.

We were left waiting just inside the doors of the terminal building for 2 hours before we were moved into the departure lounge where we were at least able to buy a drink and sit down. (22 euros for 5 cokes – ridiculous!). After a further 2 hours we were told that we would be taken to a hotel for a night but first we had to pass through passport control and to do that we would each need to pay 15 euros for a visa. Everyone made a stand as it was not our choice to be in Turkey and we didn’t want to be there and as it was an emergency that caused us to land there in the first place we should be given exemption of paying this due to our special circumstances.

After another 30 minutes of waiting to hear about the visas they waived the fee and we then had to go through passport control. I asked the man not to stamp our passports as it can cause problems getting into Cyprus if you have a Turkish stamp on your passport but he said he had to (others in a different queue didn’t have theirs stamped).

Eventually we were taken to collect our suitcases and then went out to get in the minibuses that were taking us to a hotel. Me and the kids got on the minibus expecting Vic and his brother to be able to join us once they had put the cases on. The driver started putting other people on and it was full so Josh got upset as he didn’t want to leave his dad behind. Eventually Vic and his brother managed to get in our minibus. We were taken the short ride to the hotel which I have to say was a lovely 4* hotel and maybe in different circumstances I might have been happy to be there but all we really wanted to do was go home.

After checking in we were told that food and drink would be provided in the dining room. It was now 2am and we had landed at 8pm so we were tired but not able to sleep as we still didn’t know when we would be getting home to Cyprus.

We had dinner and then got the kids settled who were absolutely brilliant throughout it all. I got an hour’s sleep but it was hard to rest as by then we had heard the news that the 43 year old co-pilot of our plane had suffered a heart attack and died and that it was his son’s fifth birthday the next day and his kids were the same age as my kids so I couldn’t stop thinking about how awful that was.

We got up the next morning and there were lots of rumours going round about what was going to happen to us. We were told lots of different things including the possibility that we would have to return to the UK or that we would have to land in Ercan in Northern Cyprus and be bussed down to Paphos. Thankfully we were eventually told that a British Airways crew had been flown out and we would be picked up at 11am and our flight would depart at 2.15pm and go to Paphos. We were relieved that we were finally going to Paphos.
So we get to the airport and check in again. One thing that made me very uneasy though was that wherever we went around the airport it seemed as though the Turkish were either staring at Ellie or wanting to touch her arm or her head. It made me very nervous as she is blonde and I didn’t like them touching her and nor did she. I held her hand tightly all round the airport as I was so worried that someone would take her.

We went through to the departure lounge to find that our flight was delayed again. As we were going up the stairs to our plane a photographer was taking pictures of us all going on the plane and saw Ellie and started focusing in on her. It made us very uncomfortable and Ellie didn’t like it so Vic stood infront of her to shield her from it. We eventually left Istanbul at 4pm. We were then told that we would have to land in Rhodes and then turn round and take off again as you cannot fly from Turkey to Cyprus. Fortunately after we had begun our descent to land at Rhodes we were told that the pilot had arranged with Greek airspace so that we now didn’t have to land there.

I have never been so relieved to land in Paphos. I know that it was a medical emergency and we had to land in Istanbul but I do think that we should have been kept better informed of what was happening. No one from British Airways came to speak to us and we were basically dumped in Turkey and the Turkish authorities didn’t want to have to deal with us as we were wanting to go to Paphos. I think that things could have been handled a lot better by BA. I am so pleased to be home now though.

Enjoying our holiday

2008-02-19T23:15:00.002+02:00

Having a lovely break. It was my Wedding Anniversary on Valentine's Day and Vic surprised me by booking a room at our favourite hotel. I had tried to book it a few weeks ago and was told they were full but Vic managed to get a cancellation so we had a lovely night away and the kids stayed with my mum and dad.

I've done far too much shopping. I just hope I can get it all in the cases to come back with us on Sunday.

The kids are enjoying spending time with family and getting us to buy them more toys. They play so nicely together. I can't remember the last time they argued. I love just watching them play together and make up games.

Had a wobbley couple of days!

2008-02-07T17:30:00.000+02:00

I have struggled today with the fact that the kids have watched loads of tv and played their DS’s pretty constantly since Tuesday morning. It has really tested me to remain patient and trust that they will learn what they want and when they want.

I was on a real high at the end of last week and on Monday when they seemed to be learning themselves. They were really into Henry VIII and his wives and children but since Tuesday they haven’t done anymore. I am trying really hard not to interfere and wait for them to ask questions or want me to help them. I don’t think its helped that I’ve felt lousy yesterday and today and am trying to get the house tidied so maybe that’s put them off coming to me.

I think it will be easier from Sunday for the next 3 weeks as we will be back in Blackpool for 2 weeks and then my brother in law is flying back with us and staying here for a week so I will have lots to distract me from worrying if they are learning.

I think I have a lot of deschooling to do for me. I thought I was doing ok with it but sometimes it feels like its one step forward and two steps back.

One of the things I have loved about unschooling is that whilst they have been interested in Henry VIII they have learned so much in just a couple of days. They probably learned more in those few days than what they have in the 10 months of me trying to ‘teach’ them since they’ve been out of school.

I’ve been reading John Holt’s Teach Your Own whenever I feel an attack of the ‘wobbles’ and this has helped me a lot. I’ve just read chapter 7 on serious play and I think he is absolutely right about children learning through fantasy play. My two love making up games to role play together.

“We must also resist the equally great temptation to think that this part of children’s lives is less important than the parts where they are doing something “serious” – reading or writing, or doing schoolwork, or something that we want them to do – or to think that we can only allow them time for fantasy after all the important work is done, as we might give them a little piece of candy after a meal.”

I went upstairs this afternoon and they were playing in their room a game where Joshua is Henry VIII and Ellie is Anne Boleyn and he’s telling her off for having a girl and not a boy and shouting ‘Off with her head! I need a son!’

I feel much better this afternoon after hearing them playing nicely together. They haven’t watched hardly any tv today and have played with each other instead so am feeling less on tenter hooks.

Unschooling Diary of last few days

2008-02-07T17:23:00.001+02:00

I have kept a sort of diary from Sunday to Wednesday just to see what we have done and it’s been interesting for me to read when I have had wobbley moments today as Sunday and Monday were really good days and helped me to see that they were learning. Tuesday and Wednesday were testing but I feel like we are through that now.

Sunday 3rd February
Got kids up at 9am, quick breakfast so we could take Vic to work. The kids decided that they wanted to go to Kid’s Club at the Hotel. They stayed there for 2 hours then came back and had made friend’s with a little boy so they played with him for a bit. Then it was time to go home. Got home and did lunch then Vic decided that the car urgently needed washing so he got started with that whilst I did washing up. The kids couldn’t resist joining in with the car wash and the whole thing turned into a water fight and they all came in looking like drowned rats. They got dried and changed and played upstairs together for an hour or so. Then they went outside with the skipping ropes and skipped up and down the drive for half an hour. When they had bored of that they came inside and sat watching tv for an hour before sitting at the dining table drawing pictures.

Josh decided to get the Usbourne Beginners Romans book and began copying from it. He wrote each word in a different colour felt tip. It kept him busy for a good hour. Ellie kicked Vic off the computer and played Zoombinis Maths Journey. They both love that game.

We had dinner then watched Dancing on Ice which the kids love. Then Josh went on the computer to play Zoombinis too. When he’d had enough he played Command and Conquer Generals. Ellie played Vic at chess and won!! Then they decided to go to bed around 11pm.

Monday 4th February
I got up at 9. Kids got up at 10. Joshua went straight back to writing about the Romans and Ellie sat outside with her feet in the pool. She wanted to get in but I said that she might find it too cold yet so she sat with her toes in and decided that it was too cold to go swimming in yet. It’ll be another 2 months or so before it will be warm enough to swim.

Then they had breakfast and Joshua decided to draw a lovely picture of Henry VIII.

He is really interested in Henry VIII and it is the first thing he has been really interested in for a while. He wanted me to read to him about Henry’s wives whilst he drew. Ellie wants to do whatever Josh does as she so wants to be like him so she joins in too and his enthusiasm for learning is infecting her too. I read a section on Henry from Tony Robinson’s Kings and Queens which they both really enjoyed.

Over the weekend I had sorted out some books that we had that mentioned Henry VIII and I left them strewn over the dining table before they got up this morning to catch their eye which worked well. We read some more ‘Terrible Tudors’ which they loved then they both coloured a picture of Catherine of Aragon.

It is amazing how much they have learned about the Tudors and Henry VIII without writing a single word about it. In the past when we’ve done projects on other things I got them to write tons about it but the writing hasn’t stayed with them as much as our conversations have. It is helping me to see that I don’t need written proof that they are learning.

I remember being taught about the Tudors at school when I was about 12 and being bored stiff and staring out the window daydreaming for most of each lesson. We were dictated to and had to write down what the teacher was saying each lesson and I don’t think I actually learned anything. I couldn’t have told you anything about the Tudor Kings and Queens yet Joshua and Ellie just reel off their names including the number at the end (Henry VII, Henry VIII, Edward VI, Mary I and Elizabeth I). I am gobsmacked by how much they have learnt. I am enjoying learning with them and it is great to see them so interested in something. I need to be careful though to follow their lead as I know that if I start saying things like ‘let’s look at what they ate in Tudor times’ they would most certainly lose interest altogether.

They made their own lunch of Tuna Sandwiches for Ellie and Cheese Sandwiches for Joshua.

Joshua said a really funny thing to me this afternoon, “I want to learn all this good stuff about Romans, Henry VIII, Castles, Tudors and lots of different things and its hard for me to decide what I want to learn about cos I want to learn about everything but my brain is so small I don’t know if I can fit everything I want into it! Sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode with all this great stuff whizzing round in it!” It’s great to see the passion for learning is back. I don’t think I have seen that since before he started school.

He also told me, “thanks for showing me that I can read. I thought that I couldn’t read but when I wanted you to read The Faraway Tree to me and Ellie you asked me if I could start reading the first couple of pages whilst you did the washing and I didn’t think I could do it but I tried and I could. Thanks mum.” That particular day a couple of weeks ago I ended up sat on the landing as he carried on reading to Ellie. He didn’t realize I was there until he had almost finished reading the chapter and he wondered onto the landing to look for me but still reading. Since then his confidence in reading has really improved and he has a much more positive attitude to reading.

After lunch Joshua wanted to read a couple more pages of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone which he did really well. Then he played on his DS for half an hour whilst Ellie played in her room. Then Ellie came down and they both watched TV for an hour and a half until it was time to take Vic to work and then we went to the internet café for half an hour just to check on our order for stock for our business. Ellie went on the Nick Jnr site and Josh played a Scooby Doo game online.

Then home for dinner. They watched tv for another hour and helped me tidy up. I don’t ask them to help but they normally help me once they see me tidying. Then they wanted me to read to them so they chose ‘The Orchard Book of Aesop's Fables’ and I read about 4 fables which they enjoyed. We were using this book for our school-at-home approach and normally I would have asked for a narration or for a picture from the story and asked them questions at the end but it was really nice to just read the stories and enjoy them as stories rather than as ‘schoolwork’.

Then I read them a few poems from ‘Read Me Out Loud!’ It has a poem for every day of the year and previously I had planned to read every poem to them on the correct date but we just dipped in and out of it picking ones that sounded fun. Vic rang for us to go and fetch him and probably helped save the kids from my terrible rendition of ‘Sing A Song Of Six Pence’. I was halfway through singing it extremely badly to them!

Fetched Vic then came home and relaxed in front of the TV. Then we watched a program called ‘Life In Cold Blood’ all about animals and the kids were fascinated by it. Ellie loves lizards so she loved watching the lizards and Iguanas. They often see lizards here in the garden but we haven’t seen any here for a month or two. They both went to bed around midnight.

Tuesday 5th February
The kids were already up and dressed by the time I came down at 9am and playing their DS’s. I had to go out for a few bits so they came with me to the Bank and then to choose a birthday card for Vic’s mum. When we came back Vic was up so he made us a lovely brunch and the kids watched TV. By 1pm they were still watching TV so I got the paints out and it was enough to tempt them away from the TV for a couple of hours and we all had fun painting and sticking.

Then they went back to their TV watching until it was time to take Vic to work. When we came home they helped me tidy up after tea and Ellie washed up (she loves washing up!). Then they went upstairs to play until it was time to fetch Vic. We came back and Joshua played ‘Command & Conquer Generals’ on the computer and Ellie played with her dolls. They went to bed around 11pm.

Wednesday 6th February
The kids were up before me again this morning. Josh was lying on the settee playing his DS and Ellie was watching TV. They pretty much stayed like that most of the day. I’ve been busy sorting out our spare room which has become a bit of a dumping ground ready for my brother in law coming to stay with us as soon as we get back from England. After lunch I asked if they wanted to go for a walk Josh wanted to stay and carry on playing his DS but Ellie came with me pushing her doll’s pram.

Josh has played his DS virtually all day and Ellie has spent most of the day either watching TV or watching Josh on his DS. It has been a very testing of us over the issue of screen time and I have had to tell myself quite a lot that it is just a phase and that tomorrow will be a better day.

They went to bed at around 11pm.

Screen time

2008-02-07T17:22:00.001+02:00

I typed this a few days ago before it was severely put the test by the kids but we have got through it (I think!)

Jessica left a comment asking if we let the kids have access to tv, computer and handheld games. We are pretty relaxed about it all I think. Back in November when we first started unschooling they watched loads of tv. Some days it seemed as if that was all they were doing but after about 2 weeks of pretty constant tv watching (or so it felt) they began to do other stuff too. They started playing in their room together making up some lovely games. At the moment the TV doesn’t really come on until after lunch. We have UK sky here and the UK is two hours behind us so there is nothing they want to watch until after lunch. At the moment they might watch it for an hour in the afternoon and an hour after dinner.

There is usually one day a week that they watch a lot of TV (normally Saturday but they have watched a fair bit today already!) If I feel worried that they are doing nothing but watch cartoons then I get other things out that I know they love to do. They have spent pretty much all day in front of the TV or playing on their DS’s on Tuesday and Wednesday but today they aren’t being drawn towards it at all. I got out the paints after lunch on Tuesday and we did quite a bit of painting after they spent about 2 hours in front of the TV. They were back in front of the TV again after they had finished painting for another 2 hours but then when we had took Vic to work they didn’t bother with it and played in their room.

They have access to the family computer that they can use whenever they want. Joshua usually goes on this every day. He plays PC Games as we don’t have the internet at home yet. He loves playing ‘Zoombinis Maths Journey’ (I like him playing it too!!!) and ‘Age of Empires’ and other strategy type games. Ellie loves to play Zoombinis too and Monopoly Junior. She goes on it every other day or so.

They both have a Nintendo DS that they like to play. They mostly play it in the car on the 40 minute round trip to take Vic to work.

They spend a lot of time just playing together and I love listening to them play and putting on funny voices. They play with their pokemon figures and their little Sonic the Hedgehog figures.

We are also fortunate that the weather is usually fairly good here for most of the year so they can play outside too. Over the summer pretty much every waking minute is spent in the pool trying to keep cool.

Brilliant couple of days

2008-01-31T17:34:00.000+02:00

The last few days have been great. I feel as though unschooling is definitely right for us judging by this week so far.

On Monday and Tuesday Joshua was interested in learning more about castles after building a castle set he got for Christmas last week with Vic and watching the latest 3 Harry Potter Films over the weekend. He has written a little about them too from what he has read in the Usbourne Beginners Castles Book and I didn’t tell him to write anything he decided to do that himself.

Yesterday the weather here was awful. It started with Thunder and Lightning on Tuesday evening that lasted more or less till 6am interspersed with heavy rain and strong winds. When Joshua got up it was hail stones so we stuck our hands outside to catch some hail stones and watched them melt in our hands. Then we stood at the window and watched them bounce as they hit the garden. He wanted to know what caused hail stones so I got out the Usbourne Beginners book on weather and we looked at the page on that and then he sat reading the rest of the book. A little later we had to nip to the shop and whilst we were walking back to the car it began to snow. Unfortunately it didn’t stick as it was so wet from all the rain. When we got back Josh sat with Ellie and was reading the bit about snow to her and about the different types of cloud. He has been really interested in the weather especially as we got up today and it is sunny and bright. He has also wrote a few lines about the weather too.

The last few days have also had some interesting conversations. On the castles subject we talked about the differences between early wooden castles and stone ones and he decided that stone castles were better as the bad guys couldn’t burn them down. We talked about stopping your enemies getting into the castle and he decided that the best way to stop them would be to have a moat and a drawbridge so you could let the good guys in but keep the bad guys out.

We have also had some interesting discussions on the weather and how Cyprus is normally warmer than England but when we spoke to my mum yesterday it was actually quite nice in England as opposed to being really cold here.

Ellie has been reading Ruby the Red Fairy a lot this week and has started writing her own story Ellie the Purple Fairy based on the book. She writes it how she wants and asks for help with spelling when she needs it.

Today they have watched primary history about Henry VIII’s Wives and so Josh is certainly keen to find out more about Henry VIII. We sat down together this afternoon and I read a couple of pages of a Horrible History books to him called The Terrible Tudors which he loved and he has been sat reading it himself all afternoon pausing only to read out a funny excerpt to me. It has been hard biting my tongue and wanting to butt in but it is brilliant seeing him find out more about Henry VIII for himself.

The last few days have helped me a lot too as I have had to keep from interfering in their activities apart from when asked so I don’t put them off learning. I have also learnt that you don’t have to have written proof of learning and that you can see that they have learnt so much on their own just by some of the conversations we have.

So am really pleased with how the last few days have gone - just watch everything fall apart tomorrow now I've said that.

Feeling much better

2008-01-29T17:39:00.000+02:00

Well after that wobble last week I feel as though I am back on my feet thanks to the comments below. I really appreciated them. They have helped me to see that deschooling needs to start with me. We have had a much better last few days too which has helped.

The kids love cooking so I've indulged them in that and we made some lovely scones that were eaten by everyone before they had even had a chance to cool down. Also they have both started making their own version of pizza which consists of toast with tomato puree and a bit of cheese on top popped under the grill for a few minutes and they love it and Josh can make it himself I just do the grill bit for him. Its great to see them getting more independent.

We are going back to the UK in two weeks for 2 weeks to visit family and I plan on getting out and about a bit too rather than be cooped up so that should help with the deschooling process and then my brother in law is coming back with us for a couple of weeks so we will try and get out and see a bit more of Cyprus. Since we moved here 2 years ago we've only ventured as far as Limassol (70km away) so I really want to visit other places.

Josh has developed an interest in Castles after watching Harry Potter so we are hoping to go and see a few castles. I definitely want to see Edinburgh Castle and I can remember visiting Skipton Castle as a child but can't really remember it.

I was sorting through our book cases and came across some castle books which I left out so that he would see them and hoped he might want to look at them and he did and this morning he drew a lovely castle picture. He is also reading Castle Diary which he is enjoying and he has made a couple of scrolls with a few bits of writing on about castles. It is hard backing off and not interfering with it but I know that the minute I make a suggestion he will stop so I am trying my best to be there for him if he needs me.

Ellie has discovered that she can read rather well and has been whizzing through Ruby the Red Fairy from the Rainbow Magic Books. I'm thinking of getting the full set of 21 books from the book people for 15 quid. Bargain!

I am trying to develop hobbies myself that will help keep me from interfering. I am enjoying getting back into reading for myself rather than just reading to the kids. When we get back from Blackpool we should be able to get the internet put in at home then too so that will make things easier.

As I type at the moment the kids are in the internet cafe playing what sounds like a really interesting game of transformers using pictures they have made of them and cut out.

Thank you so much to everyone who left commments below they have really helped me and inspired me.

I'm scared

2008-01-22T17:10:00.000+02:00

I have chickened out of unschooling this last 2 weeks as I have been feeling a bit scared about it all. I know I need to learn to trust that my children will learn what they want to learn but I began getting cold feet and my husband was starting to doubt it which caused me to doubt it too.

For the last two weeks we have done a relaxed version of school at home and I know that I don't want to continue this in the long term but I am scared about unschooling. What if my two children are the only ones who won't learn. I am really scared. I think it would be easier if we had the internet at home which we dont yet. Josh brought down a castle modelling set he got for christmas and has done that this afternoon and he wants to do a castle project so I think that I will see how far he wants to take it and not push him into doing more than he wants to. I know I need to chill out over this. It doesn't help that my family in the UK always ask what have they learnt today even though I have told them not to they ask the kids themselves. They both seem to be enjoying maths at the moment and when I asked what they wanted to do this morning they both wanted to do their maths workbooks. I should be really pleased that they want to do their maths workbooks but I am not sure if they are doing it just for me.

I need to start reading more unschooling blogs I think to give me the confidence to get back into unschooling.

any one got any advice?

A Day In The Life Of Our Deschooling

2007-12-27T10:14:00.000+02:00

I thought it would be interesting to do a day in the life of our deschooling so that if anyone else is new to this and wants to see what other families are doing whilst deschooling then they can. If anyone reads this and does one of their own on their blog then please could you leave a comment as I would love to read what other families do. This is taken from last Thursday, 20th December.

At 8.50am I got up, showered, dressed and did a quick tidy up and washed the cups from last night.

Josh came down at 9.30am and tidied the dining table for me without me asking. He found a book of Christmas poems and wanted me to read him a couple so we sat down together for 5 minutes and read ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ by Clement Clarke Moore to him which he loved and I also read ‘Just Doing My Job’ by Clare Bevan about playing Herod’s Henchmen in a nativity play which he liked too. He then went on the computer for 20 minutes or so playing Commandos 3 PC game.

He went back up to his room to play with his pokemon figures. At 10.10am Ellie woke up and I could hear them playing together in their room.

They both came back downstairs at 10.20am and watched Peppa Pig (Ellie’s favourite programme) and Super Mario and ate their breakfast.

At 11am Ellie went back upstairs to play with her My Little Pony toys. Josh watched Yu-Gi-Oh. When Yu-Gi-Oh had finish at 11.30am Josh went upstairs to play with Ellie.

At 12pm they came downstairs and drew some pictures using some stencils they got free with a KFC kids meal they had a few days ago. They spent ages doing this together and then colouring their pictures in.

At 12.30pm they’d had enough of doing the stencils and Josh did a lovely picture with his favourite pokemon in it. Ellie was pretending to be a waitress and asking what we wanted to eat and wrote it down, asking for help if she wanted to know how to spell something.

At 1pm I made lunch then we put on Christmas songs on my ipod and connected it to the speakers and had fun singing them together. They were so funny as they were singing Jingle Bells really loud (so Santa would hear them!). It’s a good job our house is detached and there is no other houses within 100 feet of us as they were really going for it!

We listened to the ‘Fairytale of New York’ song by the Pogues and we all had fun dancing to that by linking arms and spinning round and then onto the next person. It was really funny.

On Thursday afternoons and Saturday mornings Josh usually goes to Drama and then has a singing lesson on a Tuesday afternoon but he didn’t want to go today as he wanted to go to kids club at the hotel where we have our shop. He didn’t go last Saturday or Tuesday either but it is down to him whether he goes or not. He says he does want to carry on with it after christmas but he wanted to go to kids club with Ellie and make some christmas cards.

Kids club runs from 3 – 5pm so I got some time to myself to go to the internet cafe and do some blog reading. We still don’t have the internet at home yet but hopefully we will have it soon. We got home at 5.30pm and Ellie helped me make a mince beef and onion pie for tea whilst Josh played Zoombinis Maths Journey PC game which he loves on the computer. We had a bit of shortcrust pastry left over so Ellie decided she wanted to make mince pies so she rolled it out and got the cutter and cut out 5 circles. I helped her put them into bun cases in the tin and she put a spoonful of mincemeat on each. I placed them in the oven for her and she sat on the breakfast bar and waited for them to be ready. She checked on them with me and helped decide when they were ready. We got them out and left them to cool for a while. She played with her dolls. When they had cooled for about 15 minutes we decided to put icing sugar on them so I got the sieve and she poured some icing sugar in and shook the sieve over each mince pie giving them a nice dusting of ‘snow’ as she said. Then of course she had to test one before dinner. She thought they were ‘the best mince pies ever’ and I asked her if she would like to help me make some on Christmas Eve to leave out for Santa with almond pastry and she said that she’d like to do that.

They both went upstairs to play a game together but after 10 minutes I could hear them arguing so I went upstairs to see what they were arguing about and Josh was accusing Ellie of losing his Pokemon Ranger DS game. Ellie said that she hadn’t had it so we looked around their room and found it in Josh’s toybox. Josh apologized to Ellie for blaming her.

At 6.40pm dinner was ready so I called them down for it. Then we watched ‘Santa Clause 3: The Escape Claus’ movie. They both enjoyed it.

Then it was time to go and fetch daddy from work and when we got back Josh got really interested in a ‘World of Mysteries’ program on Sky Three about the Curse of Tutankhamen. We talked a little about the programme and he was mesmorised by Tutankhamen’s death mask. We are going to London in February to see the Treasures of Tutankhamen Exhibition and he can’t wait.

After the programme he went upstairs and played with Ellie nicely and they went to sleep at about 12.15am. They are night birds like me and Vic.

That was the end of a lovely deschooling day.

Making the decision to unschool

2007-12-19T13:54:00.000+02:00

One of the things that finally helped make the decision to unschool easier was at the beginning of November Josh was doing his maths workbook and I was sat helping them whenever they needed help and some of the pages he was working on were about shapes - edges and vertices, right angles, lines of symmetry and I just thought ‘hang on a minute, what am I doing making him sit there and do this when it really is so unimportant.’ I had to look up the answers as I had no clue whatsoever to the answers and I thought ‘does he really need to learn this?’ The answer, of course, is no. He doesn’t need to learn anything. He will learn what he wants to learn, when he wants to learn it, how he wants to learn it. I can’t remember hardly anything that I learnt in a school environment that I have used since leaving school. I didn’t learn anything useful about managing a home and have taught myself to do the laundry and chores and to use the internet.

Josh and Ellie have taught themselves how to use our home pc and the internet. Ellie has great mouse control and loves looking up Dora the Explorer on the internet. She knows how to click onto google and type in what she wants to look at and search and she is only 5 and a half. She knows more about the internet than Vic because she wanted to learn about it and Vic hasn’t really had a need to use the internet but he says he wants us to show him to use it to find pictures for our business. Josh uses the internet to look at pokemon and play games online.

Showing Affection

2007-12-19T13:53:00.000+02:00

Me and my parents have always had a funny relationship. I was the 3rd child of 4 and always felt that they loved my younger brother Robert more than me and still do. When I was 13 I rebelled and was always in trouble with them. I occasionally bunked off school and stayed out much later than I was supposed to. Robert got away with murder but I was always punished.

My parents have never said I love you to me or given me a hug or been affectionate with me for as long as I can remember. Even now that we live in Cyprus and speak almost everyday on the phone they never ever say they love me. They come and stay with us for a month at a time and will show lots of love and affection to Josh and Ellie and say they love them to them but even then will never ever say it to me. I always get upset about it when I have dropped them at the airport and they give the kids a hug and tell them that they will miss them. My husband will give them a hug and kiss my mum on each cheek but they never come near me.

My dad had a heart attack in September 2005 and I told him that I loved him but he never responded to it.

When me and Vic got together I was 18 and he was 39 and I didn’t tell my parents as I knew what their reaction would be and when they found out it was exactly the reaction I expected from them and I ended up leaving home and moving in with Vic. I could understand their reaction to a point because they were concerned about the 21 year age gap but they went about it all the wrong way. Instead of wanting to get to know Vic they judged him purely on the age gap and thought that he could after me when in fact I was the one who asked him out. I could never talk to my parents about anything and I want our kids to be able to tell me anything and know that I love them no matter what and that I will never judge them and will always support them even if I don’t agree with what they are doing I will love them.

Me and Vic have been together for 10 years now and married for 6 and they have been the happiest years of my life. My parents accepted him after a couple of months and I was so proud when my dad stood up on our wedding day and gave his speech and said that he couldn’t have chosen a better husband for me than what I choose for myself.

In Cyprus it is traditionally that you greet someone with a hug and a kiss on each cheek and I never instigate this. I wait for the other person to hug me and feel false doing it. I don’t know why, perhaps it has to do with my parents not showing me any affection.

I don’t want my kids to grow up feeling unloved like I did. I want them to know how much I love them and I tell them and my husband every single day and mean it. Me and Vic are very cuddly with each other and with the kids and give lots of kisses. It is very important to me that they can show emotion. We love our family hugs and cuddles together.

Some thoughts on my own schooling

2007-12-19T13:51:00.000+02:00

I had a ‘traditional’ schooling. I went all the way through primary school then onto a private secondary school. All I can remember about primary school was the bullying and the teasing. I did ‘well’ at primary school and I took the entrance exam for a private secondary school and passed with flying colours and got a scholarship to cover the fees so my parents didn’t have to pay. I remember crying when I found out that I had got into the school as I didn’t want to go there and I had only done the exam to prove that I could do it. All my friends were going to the local state secondary school. I had wanted to go to either the same school as my friends or a private school that was just round the corner from where we lived at the time which I passed the exam for but didn’t get a scholarship and my parents couldn’t afford the fees.

Secondary school was worse than primary school. The school was 15 miles from our house so I had to leave the house at 7.45am to get the school bus and then we didn’t finish school til 4pm and by the time I got home it would be 5pm. I made a few friends but ended up having just one for the last couple of years I was there as each one either moved away or their families couldn’t afford the fees anymore.

The uniform was the most disgusting thing in the world. We had to wear bright orange jumpers, cream blouse, brown skirt, fawn over the knee socks that would fall down and hang around your ankles and either a brown blazer or a fawn duffle coat. I think I wore the duffle coat for the 1st year I was there after that I refused to wear it and even on the coldest days would only wear my blazer which was only slightly better than the duffle coat.

I hated it there and 12 years after leaving I can’t really remember anything I was taught there even though I left with 10 good GCSE’s. I just remember being bored stiff most of the time.

I remember in the 3rd year I got 2 Saturday Detentions for failing to do my Art homework. I was absolutely rubbish at Art and so are all my side of the family so I couldn’t even get them to help. I had already chosen my GCSE subjects and was dropping Art so I could not see the point in doing an Art project that would take up weeks of my time at home when I was not going to be continuing with it after the summer anyway. So I was punished by being made to give up my Saturday mornings to go and scrub chewing gum off the desks.

Also we were made to do Design & Technology which I was absolutely rubbish at (I wasn’t very good at anything creative) and we had to design and make something (I can’t remember exactly what we were supposed to be making) but I spent the whole term (12 weeks) just sanding down pieces of wood and hacking them to bits with a junior hacksaw so that it looked as if I was doing something when in fact I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. At the end of term when we supposed to show off our finished products I hid in the toilets during the lesson so that I didn’t have to go.

I also remember the peer pressure. I tried smoking due to peer pressure (I never inhaled and just used to put a lit cigarette in my mouth and pretend to smoke it) and when I got my first boyfriend at 15 I slept with him due to peer pressure. I really regret that now and wished that I had waited for someone special. I don’t want my kids to go through that and feel forced to do stuff because of peer pressure.

I then went to a college and did my NVQ in Business Administration and I enjoyed that as I had chosen to do the course. I learned to touch type quickly and have kept that up to this day and can still type with all my fingers fairly fast and without looking at the keyboard and I learnt how to use spreadsheets and databases.

Then I started to feel the pressure to go to university so I decided to do ‘A’ levels at a 6th form college. I was a year older than everyone else there and whilst they were used to being told exactly what to do my year at college had been very relaxed and it was up to you whether you attended or not and you were responsible for yourself and it was more about what you wanted whilst the 6th form college was like being back at school. They had parent’s evenings and termly reports that they sent to your parents. I hated this. I met my husband Vic through a friend I made at this college and moved in with him. I was 18 then and if I missed a day at college they would phone my parents and tell them even though I had told the college that I was not living at home anymore and at the time I wasn’t even speaking to my parents. I quit college not long after as I couldn’t stand it that they refused to treat me like an adult even though I was 18.

The Freedom of unschooling

2007-12-18T16:06:00.000+02:00

I love the freedom we have now that we are ‘unschooling’.

I love it that the kids can go to bed when they want without worrying about getting up in time for school the next day.

They can wake when they want – when they were in school here we used to have to wake them at 6.30 am to get ready and start school at 7.50 am (yes they really do start school that early here!) Also, we save a load of time now that they are at home as we live over 20 miles from the English school they went to so it would take an hour for the round trip at that time of the morning and then another hour going to pick them up so it was a waste of 2 hours of my day just taking them to school and picking them up not to mention the cost of petrol.

They can go to the toilet when they want. This one is especially good for Ellie who has Selective Mutism (a fear of speaking in public) and was too scared of speaking to her teacher to ask to go to the toilet so would either avoid going to the toilet and holding it all through school or would wet herself.

They have the freedom to speak when they want and not have to sit there and raise their hands in order to say something and it is something that neither of my kids had the confidence to do. Josh says that he was too worried about getting the answer wrong and Ellie was too shy to talk to anyone at school even though she probably knew the answer.

I love watching Josh & Ellie play together. They play so lovely together and invent all sorts of great imaginative games. Lots of learning occurs through play.

I love that they have developed such a close bond with one another. Joshua is very protective of Ellie and really looks after her. On Friday they were in the Lion King show at the hotel where we have our business and Ellie hurt her knee backstage and Josh looked after her and made sure that she was ok.

I love that Josh, my previous book hating boy, who when at school would run a mile rather than read a book, loves sitting and reading either on his own or to me and Ellie.

I love that Ellie has pretty much taught herself to read with no formal teaching from me. Ellie has always loved looking at books and when she was at school she would bring home reading books and read perfectly to me but because of her Selective Mutism was unable to talk to her teacher so it felt as though she was being held back with her reading at school as the teacher said that she was unable to assess her even though I was telling her how good Ellie’s reading was and Ellie was consistently getting full marks in her spelling tests at school. I’m glad that she never went to school in England as she would have been labelled as ‘Special Needs’ because she wouldn’t talk. She loves reading and wants so much to be like Josh and read what he reads to the extent that she really surprised me last week by coming and sitting down and reading Tut’s Mummy Lost and Found - a US grade 2 – 3 book (UK Year 3 – 4) and she is only 5 and a half and would have been in Year 1 in the UK and Kindergarten in the US. She continues to amaze me with her reading and I have never had to say do you want to read to me.

I love having the time to play with my kids and read aloud to them. When they were in school Josh would often have 2 hours of homework a night which at age 7 I thought was ridiculous so by the time we got home he would have to be coaxed to do his homework and read his reading book and by the time he had done that and had his tea it would be time for bed as they had to get up so early for school. It left hardly any time to play together as even at weekends he would have a project to do that would take up lots of time too. It was ridiculous. Now I love snuggling with them on the settee and reading great books to them.

They can watch TV or play computer games or DS games when they want and since we began deschooling in November they have gone through playing on the computer all day, playing their DS all day, watching TV all day to spending most of their time playing nicely together.

The start of our journey into unschooling

2007-12-18T16:02:00.000+02:00

Our journey into unschooling began properly in November when me & the kids went back to England for a couple of weeks to sort out our house in England as we wanted to change letting agents and rent it out. This was the unconscious start of our deschooling journey. When we returned to Cyprus we had my parents staying with us and we never do any ‘schoolwork’ when we have family here as it was too much of a distraction for the kids and I didn’t want my mother interfering with our homeschool which she did anyway by setting the kids maths questions when I go out take Vic to work despite me telling her not to!

I have read lots of unschooling blogs and articles on unschooling and lurked on a few forums but had previously not had the courage to bite the bullet and go for it. Now I have finally settled into deschooling albeit not meaning to at first but now I can see that this is working for us and I feel much more relaxed about it.

At the moment I am just letting the kids, myself and Vic deschool and we are enjoying being together as a family. We are looking forward to Christmas and I am expecting there to be lots of video game playing on the computer and DS’s but I trust that it will settle back down again once they have had their fill of their new games.

A long introduction

2007-12-18T15:59:00.000+02:00

Hi I’m Emma married to Vic and we have 2 gorgeous children, Joshua age 8 & Ellie age 5. We are originally from the UK but we moved to Cyprus, a lovely island in the Mediterranean Sea, on 1st January 2006. I had a blog previously at www.homeeducationcyprus.blogspot.com but I gave the web address to my family and didn’t feel fully able to honestly vent my feelings as they are not very supportive of us homeschooling and I want to keep a totally honest view of our unschooling journey where I can talk about the highs and lows of our life without feeling that I can only put the highs for fear of being criticized if I talk about the lows.

When we lived in England Joshua was at Primary school and Ellie was at nursery full time. Joshua struggled at school with his reading and hated reading to us at home. Reflecting back now I think that he just wasn’t ready to learn to read at that time. The first year of school (Reception Class) he did ok as it was lots of learning through play. He struggled with his reading even then though and was sent home every week with a list of words to learn to sight read (they didn’t use phonics) that he struggled with and we struggled to help him learn them. I think that in the end he would memorize them as if you pointed to a word out of order it would completely throw him. At the time we weren’t really aware of home education and we mistakenly thought that you had to send your kids to school. Had we known that Home Education was an option we would have withdrawn him from the school midway through Year 1 when his problems there seemed to intensify. We struggled on at the school until the end of 2005 when he left there so we could move to Cyprus.

He started at the local Greek primary school and was put back a year (he was in Year 2 when we left England but was put back into Year 1 here) but he hated it. He tried it for 3 weeks and everyday it would break my heart to leave him there. It came to a head there when he actually screamed at the top of his voice in front of his new class and teacher as I had tried to take him. We bought him home and made some enquiries at a Private English School here in Paphos.

We decided that he would start there in the March and I had discovered home education but at the time we were setting up our business here in Cyprus and he had liked the English school when we looked around so we decided that I would homeschool him during February and concentrate on reading and see if we could improve his reading. We read The Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss and at first he really struggled with it. So I wrote a list of all the words that he couldn’t read and worked on them and teaching him to sound the words out phonetically. By the end of our month together his reading had improved so much. Then he started at the English School and his first term there was fine but when he went back after the summer holidays he was getting 2 hours homework to do each night plus projects to do every weekend. Also every night he would get his homework out and not have a clue what it was he had to do. We were paying nearly £4000 a year for him and Ellie to go to this school and we were starting to feel very disappointed with the school.

Ellie started at Greek Kindergarten in January 2006 and seemed to do ok. She made friends with the one other English girl there and they stuck together like glue. Then in September 2006 we started her at the English school with Josh in the Reception Class. She had always been very shy at her nursery even in England but she would not talk to her teacher or her classmates. After a week the teacher was quite concerned about it so we did a bit of research on the internet and discovered that she has a condition called Selective Mutism which is a fear of speaking in public. With us and close family she is like any other little girl chattering away non stop but as soon as we got in the school playground she wouldn’t say a word and also when we were at our hotel shop she wouldn’t speak to anyone there either. We found out that Selective Mutism is made worse by putting pressure on the child to speak and that you need to remove all pressure and expectation to speak. We were unfortunately guilty of trying to bribe her to speak, something I am not proud of but at the time we did not realize how it must feel for her. Apparently people who have suffered with Selective Mutism describe it as being like ‘stage fright’ and that it is like your throat swells up and you cannot physically speak.

We gave all the information we had about Selective Mutism to her teacher and I agreed to work with the school to try and help Ellie overcome her fear of speaking in public. After a few weeks Ellie began to communicate non verbally which I thought was a huge step for her but her teacher wanted her to talk and we told her that this would take time and that she would have to be patient. Eventually it all came to a head in February 2007 when we were called into to see the Headmistress and told that if Ellie wouldn’t talk then they were unable to teach her. I couldn’t believe how ridiculous they were being. Ellie was probably the model pupil sitting quietly in class and following the teacher’s instructions, getting full marks every week in spelling tests. So we decided that we would homeschool her.

We had decided to leave Josh in the school until the Summer to give me a chance to get Ellie settled into homeschooling. We did School-at-home with Phonics, Maths, Copywriting, Science, Language Arts and everything.

Then in April 2007 Josh was losing weight and not eating in school and he was ‘losing’ his dinner money. We found out that Josh was having his dinner money and some little toys pinched from his back and Josh saw the boy go in his bag and take them but was too scared to do anything about it and when we picked him up from school he was really upset and crying about it. His teacher came over and said that she would sort it out the next day but Josh was inconsolable and we had had enough. Josh pointed out the boy that had stolen from him and Vic confronted him in front of the boy’s grandma and he even admitted that it was him and handed over Josh’s toys.

The next day Josh was still too scared to go to school so we let him have the day off and phoned the school to tell them that he was too scared and the headmistress wanted to speak to Vic about confronting this boy and that the boy’s mother was threatening to remove him and her 3 other children from the school and her exact words were, “We can’t afford to lose them!” In other words we are quite happy for you to take Joshua out of school as you have paid a year’s fees for him and Ellie up front and we don’t do refunds but they were quite happy to have a thief in their school as his family hadn’t already paid in advance and they wanted their money. We were fuming!

Anyway, we took Josh out of school and began doing school-at-home with him too. We would work for around 3 hours a day but I found that I was getting really stressed if they didn’t finish their work and I was starting to feel exhausted by it all. I developed my own reading curriculum which made things a bit easier as they would do some Maths and English workbooks and then we would sit down and I would read to them stories of Greek Mythology and Our Island Story about British History and Aesop's Fables and they enjoyed our reading together.

Then in September we decided to try a child-led unit study approach and at the time I thought that this was what child-led learning was about and I asked what they wanted to learn about and they both wanted to learn about Whales after watching The Blue Planet documentary and becoming fascinated by them. They also wanted to look at our globe and find out about different countries so we started by learning about the Continents and the Oceans. They enjoyed that and we then moved onto our Whale project. They did enjoy learning about Whales followed by a project on Ancient Egypt. After we had finished our Whale project we slipped back into doing workbooks and they were doing these for an hour a day before doing project work.

Looking back now I don’t think they enjoyed all the writing I made them do as paper proof that they were learning during our projects. I know now that I do not need proof that they are learning. Just by talking to them I discover that they have learnt so much. I have to trust that they will learn and become their facilitator and guide to resources and let them learn for themselves and maybe if necessary ‘strew their path with interesting things’.